Introduction
Do you ever find yourself counting down the days until something? Perhaps a vacation, a reunion, or the weekend? Well, for me, it’s a little different. Every time my husband returns from working abroad, I catch myself eagerly counting down the days until he’s back on the road. It may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.
When Love Turns into Arguments
When my husband and I first met, we were deeply in love. But as life happened and our two children came along, our relationship took a different turn. The blissful days filled with love and laughter were quickly replaced by arguments and disagreements. We fell out of love, or at least it felt that way.
A Marriage of Tolerance
In an effort to keep things together for the sake of our children, we’ve been tolerating each other. But it’s not an ideal situation. We’re living parallel lives, going through the motions without truly connecting.
Finding Contentment in Separation
Last year, my husband got a new job that requires him to drive long distances, leaving us for weeks at a time. And here’s the surprising part – I feel so much happier when he’s away. I’ve noticed that my stress levels decrease, and a newfound sense of contentment washes over me.
The Joys of Freedom
When he’s not at home, I have a better routine with the children. The house is tidier, and I can cook and watch whatever I want on TV. And let’s not forget the blissful nights of uninterrupted sleep without the burden of his snoring.
Contemplating the Future
In light of these revelations, I can’t help but question the purpose of staying in this marriage. Is it worth it to continue living in a state of mere tolerance? Maybe it’s time to make a change.
Seeking Advice from Dear Deidre
At times like this, it’s always helpful to gain some perspective. So, I reached out to Dear Deidre, a trusted source for relationship advice. They provided some valuable insights that I’d like to share with you.
The Reality of Marriage
Dear Deidre emphasizes that marriage is not meant to be an endurance test. It should be more than just tolerating each other’s presence. If I’m happier when we’re apart, it’s a clear sign that something needs to change.
Protecting Our Children
Frequent arguments and tension in a household are not healthy for children. They are perceptive and can sense our stress. It’s essential to consider what is best for them and create an environment in which they can thrive.
Evaluating the Options
So, what now? Dear Deidre suggests having an open and honest conversation with my husband when he’s home next. We need to discuss our individual happiness and how we can improve our relationship. It’s possible that he may not be happy either, and together we can explore counseling options.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, it takes the guidance of a professional to navigate the complexities of a relationship. Dear Deidre recommends contacting Tavistock, an organization that offers couples counseling. They can help us unravel the knot of emotions and find a path forward.
Conclusion
As I continue to count down the days until my husband’s next departure, I can’t help but reflect on what this means for our future. It’s essential to prioritize our happiness, both as individuals and as a family. The journey may be challenging, but the destination holds the promise of a more fulfilling and harmonious life.